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In the situations where it work, the separated party overestimated their readiness and actually, part of the reason they dated had been to avoid their feelings about the demise of their marriage.
Avoid falling into the trap of not seeing the wood for the trees: There are people left brokenhearted due to being involved with partners who were still affected by a breakup or divorce that happened anything from months to before.
These will be self-evident – you won’t need to pull out your magnifying glass, start making things up or coming up with rationalisations.
Our "City Fathers" (loose term) saying goodbye to HMS Plymouth, public access, sorry; any access at all!! to Drakes Island, allowing the the Palace Theatre to decompose as an excuse to demolish it, the Plymouth Dome on the Hoe being closed down, saying please let me knock you down to the 1960s iconic Civic Centre, yes, that's when we had a proud Plymouth, the Mayflower Steps allowed to be falling down..did the founding Pilgrim Fathers do for Plymouth anyway, ok, they just left and helped found one of the greatest countries ever, the United States...so? not forgetting the Park Pharmacy driven from the city limits, & destroying any other possible heritage on sight, BUT now we have risen to the glorious crowning monstrous carbuncle of Plymuff-ness, "to haste with the contrived closure of Plymouth City Airport"!!! Nothing, just the association of the word "hours" when used with journey times, and filth, litter, messy toilets, & no seats!!
We may be imagining all sorts of problems that may or may not exist or we’re rationalising our own boundaries, values, and even prior experiences of being in one of these situations (so knowing that we may struggle with the emotional consequences) and are thinking along the lines of, ‘Well…
I’m of a certain age so I need to prepare myself for turning a blind eye to any code amber / red actions and indications because people in this age group tend to be recently broken up / separated / divorced‘. There’s no easy answer to the question of what the ‘right time’ is for dating a separated or recently divorced person.
spend with a person means that we get to see if actions and words match and whether what we thought or they suggested was on the cards is actually happening. A person cannot promise not to hurt you or that their marriage breaking up isn’t going to affect you hence if the possibility of either of these happening sends fear ripping through you, know your own boundaries instead of playing the breakup slot machine again. ‘Recent’ is of course subjective but it’s safe to say that if you become involved with someone who is weeks or even days out of their prior relationship, you’re gonna get some blowback.
First of all a stunning tribute to our Veterans of D Day and all other theatres by Wes Ashton who has the SHADOWS OF OUR PAST Facebook page, well worth a visit. This image below is to me, one of the best, if not the best I have ever seen on this theme.
Moving along we have a cracking photo of MARSH MILLS in PLYMOUTH showing the LAIRA BATTERY and EFFORT FORT.
What you have to keep in mind is that separated is still married until the divorce is finalised and that means that there’s likely to be emotional as well as legal ties.
It would be handy if we could avoid the vulnerability that comes with doing the due diligence and taking appropriate action where needed.
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Same goes for someone who’s not over their divorce and has beliefs that affect their ability to be committed.