Dating a guy with low self esteem
If he asks you which store he should go to or whether to use cash or plastic to pay for the Cocoa Puffs or what he should wear to the store, that’s the perfect opportunity to show that you esteem him.You can do that by using this magical phrase: “Whatever you think.” Maybe he’s used to you telling him how to make decisions, like my husband was. This time you’re going to act like you trust him to make his own decisions.Consider being grateful while you let him spoil you silly. The more he feels like a success, the more he’ll trust himself.If you take a bath while he goes out in the rain for the Cocoa Puffs and then you’re so happy when he gets back because you’re relaxed and rejuvenated, that will make him more self-assured. The more he trusts himself, the more appealing he’ll be to you and the more you’ll trust him.When he sees that you, who know him so well, trust him to decide where to go, how to pay and what to wear on his own, that will go straight to reinforcing his self-esteem.Sometimes a woman will get so fired up about using “Whatever you think” to show her husband she trusts his thinking that she misses the opportunity to let him know what she desires. But you can save the day by simply saying what you desire most. ” If he asks, “What did you think of me going to the store in the storm to get you Cocoa Puffs,” that is not the time to question his judgment or comment on the weather.I know the problem is that you’re not always in the mood. When I have a challenge that has me perplexed, I ask my husband if I can borrow his brain.
Actions speak louder than words, and listening is a powerful way to say “You’re important.” And feeling important? Since he was a capable, grown man when you married him, that includes everything. Because men are different from women in this way: They feel better when they do stuff for themselves. Consider resigning from those jobs—and anything else he can do himself.You can act like you expect that, even if you don’t.You could say, “I’ll be here in the tub, awaiting your victorious return with the Cocoa Puffs.” That’s you deciding to have confidence in him, just the way you want him to have confidence in himself.