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Using the microphone and ‘accelerometer’ to determine an accurate score, the app claims “All you have to do is start the application, put your i Phone on the bed, in an arm band, or even in your pocket and have intercourse, it is as easy as that.
Once you are finished, press the stop button and view your results.” Romantic.
Breakupnotifier does exactly what it says on the tin.
Wingman, a dating app for air travellers, promises to help match you with a potential mate on your next flight. Currently in Beta mode, the app allows interested parties to ‘reserve their seat’ by entering their email address.
The main problem with the app is that joining the mile high club is probably a lot better as a fantasy than a reality – in reality your flight will just be full of hungover dehydrated adults, the occasional screeching stag or hen, and screaming children, which isn’t exactly the best pool to pick from. The app boasts that it will help you “bribe your way to a date”, by letting people exchange a bouquet of flowers, a romantic dinner, a shopping trip, or an outdoor adventure in exchange for a first date.
You can then send them voice messages and videos of yourself, which to be honest will probably be used for more sinful than heavenly reasons really.
You want to use Tinder, but you’re too busy, and you’re loaded (it is the perfect time of year for it with revision and student loans…). Aimed at rich single men with little free time to spare, Personal Dating Assistants provides an online profile management and ghostwriting service for dating profiles.
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Lickmyapp requires no download and encourages users to improve their oral skills with a choice of three different games, you can flick a light switch on and off, turn a crank or go freestyle – where you bounce a beach ball. You also have to remember to wrap your phone for protection first because it’s supposedly crawling with bacteria, yuck.