Same sex friendships while dating
As the Guide to Gay Life explains, "Experimentation is a very normal and healthy part of our development.
[Same sex experimentation], in some form or another, helps us develop sexually.
She says:"As a girl, I've experimented with my friends. I came to the conclusion that I'm not quite straight.
My ex-boyfriend, the straightest guy I've ever met to the point of almost being homophobic, has kissed a couple of his guy friends, so obviously some guys do it too."Though experimenting with a same-sex friend can be an indication of your sexual orientation, this isn't automatically the case.
When Jamie realized that she and her guy friend Ben shared similar sexual appetites, she decided that it was worth a shot to invite him to visit her at school to see where the night took them."I instantly regretted it," she said.
"He danced to house music in the bars like he was at a ska concert, and was clearly more interested in getting a taste of 'the college experience' that his small university was lacking than hooking up with me."Rather than chalk the whole visit up as a loss, Jamie went for it anyway and ended up getting a lesson in sex-ed rather than getting off."It was the first time I'd seen an uncircumcised penis," she said.
That can be confusing to a teen who doesn't identify as gay, but who enjoyed the hook-up.
"He always made it clear that he wasn't looking to date me, but then would drop lines like 'I love being around you,' and 'You always make me laugh'.
Sometimes this helps them figure out whether or not they are gay, lesbian or bisexual and sometimes it doesn't.
One reader explains how same-sex hook-ups meant really different things for her than they did for an ex-boyfriend.
"I lied and told him and his friends that I didn't have feelings for him, and that it was strictly business, so to speak," she said.
Despite her growing attachment to him, the two continued to hook up ...